My Mother passed away on International Women’s Day, and we had a small service to honor her on Pi Day. Around this time, COVID-19 hit, and it complicated everything for everyone.

A few weeks after her death I posted a list on Facebook that I wanted to expand on; many of the items on this list are universally true.

1) health care workers are wonderful. Nurses in particular are the most compassionate people. We should empower them to do and have everything they need to do their jobs. I’m grateful for how honest they were with me.

2) what can get a person through the roughest day are the check-ins family and friends take time to send. A text can be a Godsend. I’m grateful for all the care my loved ones exhibited.

3) health is vital. Take care of yourself throughout your life and it pays dividends.

4) the global pandemic we are seeing is concerning because people as a whole don’t understand risk that well. And if we listened to scientists and health care workers we’d be better off as a country and world.

5) have uncomfortable conversations with your loved ones. One of the blessings of my life is that My Mom told me Exactly what treatments and care she wanted and exactly what kind of service she wanted after she died. It meant I really had no difficult decisions because I was honoring her wishes. The doctors and PA’s were really happy about this and said it was rare.
People are superstitious and uncomfortable about death. We should treat it like the inevitable stage it is.

6) have emergency money ready. Death is expensive. Sickness is expensive in the US.

7) support will come from unlikely places. People will offer you care and help in unexpected ways. Take it when needed.

8)Life is very heartbreaking. You will lose people you love and it will hurt. And other people will carry you with grace.

I’m a person of faith so that has helped too. And I think you can see God through the face of the people you love.

9) my Mom was the best. I will always miss her. She gave me everything she could. She was my friend and my guiding light and no one can take that away from me.
If you are lucky to still have your Mom, be with her as much as you can.

10) finally, this period of unknown time many of us will spend in quarantine is going to be hard. I look forward to work, I look forward to being home and quieter than usual. I think it may help us heal as a country if we put the needs of the country and each other first.

I’m hopeful.

Without my husband and friends and family, the last two months would have been unbearable and I know how fortunate I am.

Be with your mom as much as you can